Learning

“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child, and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure… that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.” -Veronica A. Shoffstall”

Courage.

This is my problem.
I think so much about every decision and detail that I scare myself with all the "what if" questions. I'm just going to do it I can't let every single worry stop me from doing something with my life.. I don't want to end up looking back and regretting wasting this time I have.

Stop existing. Start living.

Play hard. Work hard. Love a lot. Make up your own mind. Listen to others. Learn from what they say. Do whats best for you. Don't be afraid of taking risks. Be what you want to be. Be thankful for what you have. Give to others. Smile more. LIVE.

Smile!

Today is a day that I just don't understand.. but in a good way.
I'll explain.
I'm addicted to sugar. No really. ADDICTED.
Maybe not hard-core-always-have-candy addicted, but bad enough that when I stop eating it I have SERIOUS withdrawl headaches so I consider myself an addict.
So a couple of days ago I decided to cut sugar out of my diet.
Oh yeah, did I mention carbs too??
I must be crazy.
So Last night I got a massive headache that had me in tears.
I finally fell asleep around 3 in the morning which would have been okay if I didn't have a class at 8 in the morning.
In case you didn't know I'm NOT a morning person.
I also am not a very fun person to be around when I haven't had much sleep.
I set my alarm for 6:45 so that I would have time to get ready and somehow I woke up at 7:50.
I got to class at 8:05. I still haven't had sugar. I'm sleepy.
The amazing part???
I'm in an AMAZING mood! I've been smiling ever since I woke up!
It's positively wonderful and I hope your day is just as good as mine!

TGIF!

That is how I feel today!
Sometimes it feels like life is attacking me and everywhere I go people are trying to wear me down until I crack. I'm not backing down though. We all deserve to be the best we can be. Every mean comment, every set back, every tear that falls shapes who we are and makes us stronger. So i'm going to stand up for myself and be who I can be. I hope you do too.

How to have a lovely day.

1. Dress up.
Wear fancy clothes that you never wear. Do your hair different. Wear something crazy. Spray a little bit of perfume on. Just be happy with what you wear.

2. Watch the sunrise or sunset.
Take half an hour or even just ten minutes. Watch it with someone you care about or just by yourself curled up on the porch.

3. Say please and thank you or compliment someone.
Give others something to smile about and soon you'll be smiling too.

4. Bake something for someone.
Bake some cookies and decorate them. Make a cake. You could even just cook something new and exciting.

5. Go for a walk.
Get out of the house and go to the park. Take a walk with a friend or a loved one.

6. Turn the music up and sing at the top of your lungs.
Go crazy. Dance in your underwear. Sing with a spoon for your microphone.

7. Watch a good movie.
Curl up in a blanket, get some popcorn and invite someone over.

8. Laugh.
Belly laugh with good friends. Laugh so hard you cry. Try to make others laugh.

9. Rearrange a room.
Freshen a room up and move everything around.

10. Tell someone you love them.
Let them know you care.

I hope you find what you were looking for.

On Saturday I found out that a friend of mine had committed suicide. At first I was holding it together, but it didn't take long until it all fell apart. I have so many questions and most of them can't be answered. What makes a person that was so full of life that he instantly made people smile want to take his life? Why did he feel that he couldn't reach out to someone instead when there are so many that cared and would have helped if they had known? How many people are struggling to make it through a day, but hide it so well that no one sees what's coming? Were there signs that everyone missed because we were all too busy to see?
It seems that we are all rushing through life and I think maybe one of the few times we realize that we might need to slow down is when someone dies and for a while it seems like our world has stopped while everyone else is still rushing by.
I hope you find whatever it is that you were looking for, Derek.